Monday, July 5, 2010

i want to scream...

had forgotten all about you in all these days... suddenly when i walked alone on the sun streaked road to nowhere i realized i was broken. broken inside and outside. life has a very cruel timing and very crude ways of jolting into you the realization that this is where you belong. lost a relation to the bonds of life and the other i murdered. both very dear to me, both very precious.
kept thinking as i walked and there was this involuntary desire in my chest to gush the air in it to my throat and make me scream. the urge is so high that it is hurting me and i know that in the coming days it will hurt more as i gag it deeper in me.
lost is my smile, have to find it. someone needs me more than myself. i so wish to hold her and be with her but her new journey in life would mean the end of our own journey. no small journey was this, it was a long voyage. ah there goes my chest again.
i knew in myself that i had something to fall upon but as fate would have it, it was taken away at the nick of time. i caused pain, i hurt her, i ignored her but kept asking for more and more of her time. she snapped when she could take no more. she left my hand for a better life.
now that i have you and no one else i will just put in you what i feel like. atleast someone out there in the hyperspace must feel a little something for me. am i expecting pity, i don't know but all i know is i want to speak. where to now? which road do i tread?

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