don't know where those days have disappeared. sometimes i get the doubt now, if they existed in the first place. laughs were rare but as the days go by they are just getting more and more scarce. have no where to look to as always. every relation i know seems to value themselves more than the other half. starting to question the sanity and validity of the very relations that define me.
want to walk the path of destruction, move on, leave everything, move away. Never said it aloud but God if you exist, please take me away. I am suffocating in this labyrinth of life. i want to go. i don't know if i will be missed and i don't care. i know for one that i wont miss anything that i leave behind.
people move to new places, people meet new people. i want to do the same. move. meet. i want to be normal or what i think is normal. head feels so heavy and i feel so low. now, i think, i know how people contemplate ending themselves when things get lower. No i am not suicidal just a fleeting thought that got captured.
somebody asked me once, if i won't feel pity for the people and the memories that i will leave behind. i wish i could go back in time and tell them that i pity myself more now and it is killing me to be host to their parasitic desires and aspirations.
what i need now - travel, people i don't know, complete disconnection, abandon!
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