My thoughts have been crammed full with feelings of separation and pain for quite a few months. With a recent separation which almost killed me and another slow deprivation threatening to blow itself away into complete oblivion (and kill me for sure), I am tired and looking to turn my life around. But adding injury to the still raw wound is you. I thought I hated you and didn’t want to think about you. But with depleting relations and empty hallways, I am looking at every nook and corner of my life trying to find something to hold on to. I am desperate.
I don’t know what got me thinking of you. Don’t remember where the train of thoughts started but the feeling that every one of us has forgotten you passed through my mind and I felt it like a stab of cold metal passing right through my chest. No one speaks of you anymore; your name is like the name of a forbidden cult which can’t be taken with the poisonous air suffocating most of those involved in the conversation. But even your name has been buried deep within, with me not having heard it in years till a friend of mine spoke of you. Your clothes have long since been discarded. The papers you wrote in burnt or directed to the refuse. I can scarcely remember your face.
Nowadays I question myself about what we used to speak about, what we used to fight about, what did we conspire in all those long summer afternoons. Sometimes you feel like a great lose to me and sometimes I feel that I had managed alone even before you left. But it is not that I needed something from you, I needed you to be around. Getting very tired. Not able to move on with life. Have a few hard decisions to make and I don’t know who I should speak to or who I should confer. Thoughts always turn to you, my eyes look for you but seems like it has been like everyone has buried you eons ago. Like you have been forgotten…
I don’t know what got me thinking of you. Don’t remember where the train of thoughts started but the feeling that every one of us has forgotten you passed through my mind and I felt it like a stab of cold metal passing right through my chest. No one speaks of you anymore; your name is like the name of a forbidden cult which can’t be taken with the poisonous air suffocating most of those involved in the conversation. But even your name has been buried deep within, with me not having heard it in years till a friend of mine spoke of you. Your clothes have long since been discarded. The papers you wrote in burnt or directed to the refuse. I can scarcely remember your face.
Nowadays I question myself about what we used to speak about, what we used to fight about, what did we conspire in all those long summer afternoons. Sometimes you feel like a great lose to me and sometimes I feel that I had managed alone even before you left. But it is not that I needed something from you, I needed you to be around. Getting very tired. Not able to move on with life. Have a few hard decisions to make and I don’t know who I should speak to or who I should confer. Thoughts always turn to you, my eyes look for you but seems like it has been like everyone has buried you eons ago. Like you have been forgotten…
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