Who do you speak to?

Today while driving back from work, a sudden thought struck me. You never used to discuss stuff with others that you discussed with me. There were so many things - your boss, your work, your colleagues, you official clients, your brother, your sister, your niece, your cousin, your brother-in-law. That was just people, what about all the things that we spoke about - faith, religion, technology, cartoon, fashion, food, places, sex, colors, people, friends, politics, astrology, books, movies... sights, scenes, smell, sounds!! Do you speak to him about all of that? Does he give you the liberty to express such thoughts? Or do you just shove it deep under the carpets of your mind like you used to when you didn't get me?

i miss your ranting that used to mark the chambers of my car. Going on nonstop and then sometimes going silent to look at something or point something out to me or wait for things to sink into me and for me to give a reaction. Do you get the same attention? Does he care about the details as much as i did? Sometimes i feel i will go insane if i keep thinking about you, but then how can i ignore the good times that we had. So many good days together. Marked with nothing but happy memories and swiftly passing time. i am just sad that it didn't last a lifetime.

"Who do you speak to now, dear?" is all that my mind seeks to find out. Probably i will never find out and like many other questions that i have ever had and will have about you will remain unanswered. There are so many things i want to see how they turned out for you. But even that isn't ever going to happen, is it? Just hope that you are happy. If there is a God, may he bless you with health, prosperity and happiness. Will never forget you. You taught me to love like insane, patience of a sage, pleasures of a this worldly body & topping the list - bearing pain like no other. 

Will never write about you again for it brings back a lot of things and makes me want to write even more about you. But that might disturb you and your life. i care for you too much to do something like that. Just hope that someday we can be good friends and look each other in the eye and share a smile.